Brunch

Photo Via http://www.thecurvycarrot.com

Brunch

My final culinary school group project was to create a themed buffet. Our group picked brunch as our theme. that's how serious brunch is.

Brunch is serious business. On Saturdays and Sundays everyone in New York City drops whatever title they have during the week, be it student, manager, director, or VP. Their new title is something along the lines of Brunch Specialist, or Brunch Master. If they’re top-notch, they might even be called the Brunch Baron, Arch Duke of Brunch, or the Brunch Bomber. I don't know, but people take brunch very seriously—everyone has their place, their gem. They know where not to go. They know just how long they’ll have to wait to sit down to their Eggs Benedict and Bloody Mary. Ask anyone that’s been in the city longer than a few months; I bet they have a list of at least three places that they consider their elite brunch spots. I have two, but I’m sure I’m missing some big ones. I haven’t eaten at Five Leaves yet… I know this is blasphemy to anyone that lives in North Brooklyn, but I just haven’t gotten to it; I’m sure I’ll write about it when I do. My big two are: Roebling Tea Room, and Roberta’s. I will, however, be mentioning a third restaurant I was really looking forward to eating at: Egg.

Roebling Tea Room

Photo Via http://www.freewilliamsburg.com

My first brunch experience in Williamsburg, and still my favorite, Roebling Tea Room is an absolute treat every time I get to eat there. Located off Roebling and Metropolitan, It’s a popular destination, so the wait can sometimes be upwards of 30 minutes; I think it’s totally worth it. I’ve had everything from their egg mock sandwich (Egg and cheese on an English muffin with a pork roll), to their salt cod cakes, and it’s all just fabulous. Their Bloody Mary is spicy, strong, and very tasty—get a large served in a pint glass. They have a pretty nice tea list, which I’ve drank from, but I usually go for coffee after a long night of drinking. It can get a little loud in the restaurant, and the staff is busy, but it’s never gotten to be frustrating. I would gladly go to Roebling Tea Room every weekend for the rest of my time in Williamsburg.

Roebling also offers a very ambitious and excellent dinner menu--I've had the pleasure of eating dinner there twice. It slows down a little during the evenings and takes on a really mellow and romantic feel; I almost didn't recognize the place after eating brunch there so many times. Their menu is making me salivate just reading it.

Roberta’s

Photo Via http://newyork.seriouseats.com

Roberta’s is the juggernaut of Brooklyn brunch. Located off the Morgan L stop in Bushwick, Roberta’s is located in one of the most happening places in the borough, but people still travel there just to eat the food. The wait can be a little off putting, sometimes climbing up around an hour, but there’s a secret located in the back of Roberta’s; if you go through the back of the restaurant past their outdoor seating, you’ll find a little tent open all year round. There’s a bar in the tent! Order your first Bloody Mary of the day and sit put because the food is well worth any wait. Their Bloody Mary, by the way, is excellent. They serve it with a leaf from a romaine heart, which is a pleasant twist on the usual celery stalk. If they have it, get the Aquavit Bloody Mary—they serve it with pickled vegetables and it’s nice and spicy.

Photo Via http://www.brooklynpaper.com

Roberta’s has amazing pizza. I’d recommend getting one or two for the table. The Bee Sting (Mozzarella, Sopresetta, honey, and chili oil) is sweet, savory, and spicy, while the Cheeses Christ (Taleggio, Parmesan, and black pepper) is amazingly cheesy and a great savory bite. Their menus change quite regularly to accommodate the seasons—they have an amazing seasonal garden on the roof. Get anything with bacon. Their bacon, thick slab cut, moist, savory, just perfectly smoky, is my death row meal. A plate of Roberta’s bacon would be the perfect sendoff and pretty much sums up everything I love about living. Their sticky buns, while small and dainty, are flawlessly sweet and baked to perfection. What I’m getting at here is that you could go to Roberta’s a thousand times and you’ll never make a bad choice. Best brunch. Period.

Egg

Photo Via http://ny.eater.com

Egg is one of the most popular brunch waits in Williamsburg. Located right off Bedford, it has the benefit of a ton of foot traffic coming off the L stop. Their wait is long and unconventional. They scrapped the traditional host for a clipboard for diners to write their names and number of people in their party. This was pretty irritating—we knew how many two tops were in front of us, but I don’t know how they structure their seating. Are those three four tops getting sat before us by combining two tables? What about that group of six that’s waiting for their last friend to show up? This is why restaurants hire a host—they communicate to the people waiting to eat just what is going on. They're a liaison from the wait staff to the customer. We need them… don’t substitute them for a clipboard.

Our wait was around 45 minutes. We were sat down at a comfortable two top and ordered—No liquor was strike one. I understand liquor licenses are expensive and it's cheaper to get a beer and wine license, but with a popular and well established restaurant, there's no excuse. While I'm on the subject, Egg doesn't accept credit cards. Again, this is a cash saver, but the restaurant is too busy not to take credit. I mean, for fuck sake, Apple sells the Square Credit Card Reader for 10 bucks... it's just unacceptable. 

We both had French press coffee, which was very good. We ordered the sticky bun, biscuits and sausage gravy, Country ham biscuit with fig, cheddar, and grits, and the broiled tomatoes.

The Good: Our waitress was professional and sweet, even working in a small dining room. The sticky bun was excellent. If you eat here, get it. That is all.

The Bad: Everything else. Seriously. The biscuits were bland and dry. My sausage gravy was really more like sausage soup—the gravy either needed more flour to thicken the roux or more time to cook. It was extremely peppery and all together inedible. The worst part was the dish was 90% 'gravy.' One biscuit and barely any sausage. Pass. The country ham biscuit would have been better without the fig or cheddar… choose one, and get rid of it. The fig was cloyingly sweet and nothing helped cut through it. The broiled tomatoes tasted like something between Rao’s tomato sauce and tomato paste. It had no seasoning at all. It was horrid.

The Ugly: The grits. My God, don’t make grits if you don’t know how to. The grits were clumpy, solid, and bland beyond bland. Grits should be creamy, buttery, soft, and light... not cement. If you want grits, go to Roebling.

Stay away from Egg if you’re a true Brunch aficionado—they’ll steal your money, your time, and your appetite.

Photo Via http://whiteonricecouple.com

There you have it, a Brunch special just in time for the weekend. If you haven’t found your Brunch place in the city yet, maybe this inspires you to go out and do so. Have a few too many cocktails this Friday night, go to sleep without having a pint of water, and wake up with a blasting hangover. Crawl out of bed, throw on your grottiest outfit, head down the street, and truly savor that first sip of morning booze coating your dry throat. I don’t drink like I used to in college, but there’s something almost magical about a great Bloody Mary. It has special powers to cure what ails you. Stay safe, and have a great Brunch!

- Adam from Tipped Mixology